The Basic Blog

Since my first post, it's been quite an adventure going into adulthood. My second post upon my return will be about heartbreak. This summer has been quite a whirlwind for a lot of my friends - relationships have ended and tears have been shed. Seeing things from another side of a breakup has given me a different perspective on the healing process.

Anyone of my friends can tell you that I was in a fairly bumpy relationship for the last four years.  It was really hard for me to let go of my relationship. We had issues that I would've loved to conquer and work through, but it just wasn't possible. Our relationship ended in a mess of sorts. We still talked, hooked up once in awhile, and did other scandalous things. It took me about a year and a half to finally be at this stage; I can finally talk about the relationship and look back without any animosity towards my ex.

AFTER THE BREAK UP:

I was broken. Emotional pain manifested into physical pain. My heart felt like it was cracking every time it beat. I beat myself up, my confidence went down the drain and I became a version of me that I didn't want to be. It was something I never experienced before. The scariest part was not being sure if I could be myself again. I tied my happiness to someone else. I was scared I could never be that happy, positive and confident girl I use to be with him. I was constantly questioning my own worth. It made me go crazy. I was constantly wondering if he moved on with someone else, questioning why he didn't love me anymore.It didn't help that  I continued to talk to my ex after the breakup.  I was in a loop of unhappiness trying to hold on.

THE HOOK UP:

This is one of my biggest regrets after the breakup. I maintained a sexual relationship with my ex, not once, not twice, but several times. THIS IS THE WORST THING ANYONE CAN DO AFTER A BREAKUP. I had to emphasize this point! I couldn't keep my pants zipped and my legs closed. This part of the break up only made me feel worse about myself. It kept me invested emotionally. I couldn't let myself move on knowing that we still had something.

THE REALIZATION:

It wasn't until this year where I was finally able to let go. I have to admit, it took me being a bystander of someone else's break up to reevaluate what I was doing to myself. I was giving my friends advice that I wasn't using. It really hit me, I was stronger than I have been acting.

One of the cliches that proved true is that time really heals all wounds.  As time went on, I felt better and it hurt less.  You start to see that time is precious. Of course, everyone should take the time they need to get over a breakup. But, time doesn't move at your pace, it moves at its own pace. If you don't start to catch up, you'll be stuck forever.

I didn't need him to be happy anymore. I took a step back and looked at the reasons I had to be happy. You should think about your own accomplishments, about the friends and family you have around you. I turned my negativity into positive outlets, this really helped. Even if I was faking happy in the beginning, I became happier in the end.

Another thing I had to get through in my head was that he was a part of my life, not my whole life. There are so many other moments you have to live for. There are experiences out there that need to be lived and a lifetime of happiness ahead. My world revolves around me now, not someone else.

THE END. . . a bag of potato chips is definitely well deserved. 

I had spent the night before researching about the company. Clearly, that did not help at all. This interview had three parts: Research, Presentation, and an Oral Interview. To make matters worst, it turned out to be a panel interview. I had an hour to research and come up with a 5 -7 page proposal.  Let's just say things were left incomplete... and that just lead to an extremely disappointing performance during the presentation and interview portion of the assessment. I left knowing I could have done better. 

However, I shouldn't be complaining because it was a good experience to go through. The interviewers were friendly, and professional. It provided me with an idea of how the upcoming interviews might be .... if I get the chance to do another one. I have high hopes to improve and  get a placement in the next couple months. 

Knowing that many have to go through interviews at some point in time, here are some tips:

(not in a particular order of importance) 

If you get the opportunity to contact your interviewer post interview, take it.  See what your strengths and weaknesses during the interview were, this will help in the long run. An interview is a learning experience, take from every single one  that you go through and think of ways to improve yourself.  This interview was definitely a disappointing one, but it was definitely not a disappointing experience. 

Wish me luck on any upcoming interviews!